What I wish I had said

I love a snappy comeback. Unfortunately, I often think of them well after the appropriate moment for them has passed. Such a thing happened yesterday.

I had to go to the dentist. Not only had I not had a check up in 1.5-2 years (although I had been in during that time to see the hygienist for my cleanings), but I knew I had a problem with one of my back molars. It felt like a corner had broken off and I could see a cavity.

So I go to the dentist, and fill out the form to update my info. I clearly write on the form that I am pregnant and am 3 months along. Evidently that piece of paper is purely for legal purposes to cover their behinds, as no one looks at it. When the tech came to get me she immediately took me to the x-ray area. I informed her that I was pregnant. "Oh." She looked a little confused. Do pregnant women never come to this dentist? "So do you want a visual exam only?" I answered with a simple yes, but I could have said that no one could fail to see the problem, even without an x-ray.

When the dentist comes in, we have one of the weirdest conversations I have ever had with a "professional."

Dentist: So you're pregnant.

Me: Yes.

D (looking at my chart): What is this, your third?

Me: No, my sixth.

D (looking completely dumbfounded): Sixth?

Me: Mmm-hmm.

D: Wow. What are their ages?

Me: Ten, eight, six, five, and almost three.

D: How old are you?

Me: Uh, 33.

D: Wow. Six. Are you ok with all those kids?

Me (a little confused myself - how am I supposed to answer this?): Yeeeees.

D: After we had our two, I told my wife, "Whoa, no more." Well, good for you. (This was a little unconvincing.) Now what seems to be the problem with your teeth....

What I wish I had said, when he asked me if I was "ok with all those kids" was this:

Me: Well, there are a couple we thought about returning, but we lost the receipts.

I would have loved to see his expression if I had thought of this at the time! ;-)