Sunday, August 30, 2009

Normal? What's that?

Though we got back into town Thursday evening, I still don't feel settled back at home. This is due to a combination of things, I think. First, Kelly and are are/were exhausted! Physically and emotionally completely drained. This is the closest family member I've ever lost, so I've never been this intimately involved in the plans and all the notifying etc. that goes on afterwards. Not that I did much of that, but Kelly did. And there were either people over at the house or people calling the house constantly in the days after Vickie's death. It's all completely necessary of course, but it is still draining for those involved.

And then there's just dealing with a loss like that, and helping the girls deal with it. That really takes a toll. I'm wondering how long it will hurt every time I see something that strongly reminds me of her. And I keep being surprised at how many things remind me of Vickie.

Then the morning after we got home, Ashlynn started running a high fever, with diarrhea and vomiting. So I sat and held her for the next 24 hours, pretty much non-stop.

So we still aren't feeling "normal" yet. I guess with any life-changing event, normal will change and we'll have to find out a new normal. But life has to go on, work needs to be done, school lessons taught, and these kids keep wanting to be fed. (Don't they remember that I just fed them this morning? Sheesh!) Much as I don't feel like it, we gotta kinda get back into it tomorrow. Social person though I am, I feel this urge to burrow into a hole somewhere and cocoon myself for a while. Not exactly practical, I know. But it has been nice this weekend to have a transition time between the hectic days of the funeral and our normal activity level.


Jeanie said...

Praying for peace and rest. I lost my father just over 4 years ago, and still miss his Sunday calls. My kids didn't know him, so it didn't affect them like it did me. Please don't hide yourself. Is Ashlynn better yet?

Tami said...

Don't worry Jeanie, I'm not going to be able to hide from anything - too much to do. Besides, that's just what I wanted to do, but knew I couldn't. It was nice to have a down weekend though! But we are back in the fray. Ashlynn is much better today!