Pink is Pretty

Here I am, modeling the latest in fashionable footwear.
Lovely, isn't it? This is what I have to wear for at least the next 4 weeks. In summer. In South Texas.

Back in March, I was working out one morning. I stepped forward to do a lunge with my left foot, when I felt something funny in my ankle. I quit doing that and by the time I was done working out my ankle was hurting, so I took it easy for a week or so, keeping the ankle wrapped. Then I eased back into my workout routine, but eventually the ankle started hurting again.

Again, I scaled back on all exercise except for running on the elliptical. I kept the ankle wrapped. I tried staying off my feet for week. But the ankle kept getting worse.

So the first part of June I went to see my doctor, who said the interior tendon of my ankle was inflamed, not unlike someone who has carpel tunnel of the wrists. He gave me a round of steroids and Alieve. This worked wonders for a week or so, but soon I was back as bad as I had been, some days barely able to walk. I went back to my doctor, who said, "hmmmm."

Don't you love it when docs say that?

He gave me another round of steroids and told me to go see a specialist. He thought I needed steroid shots right into the tendon. The oral steroids helped again, though not as much as the first time. Thankfully, I was finally able to see the specialist today.

He said I had indeed injured the tendon my doctor had told me, but it was more serious than either my family doctor or I had believed. The damage has obviously gotten much worse. In fact, he called my foot "deformed." The tendon is no longer holding the shape of my foot, the arch is nearly non-existent, and it stays swollen all the time now.

He said we may well be looking at surgery, though we are going to try some other things first. Because the surgery is a very big deal, he wants to avoid it if we can. The surgery makes me a little weak just thinking about it - I don't remember all the details because he lost me when he started talking about cutting my heel bone. Basically it would require a reconstruction of my entire left foot except the toes. And then there's a long rehab after that. Did you remember that I have SIX KIDS? I'm not allowed to be down like that.

In order to avoid the surgery, I have to have my ankle immobilized for 4-6 weeks to allow my body time to heal. So I came home in a lovely pink walking cast. In 4 weeks, I get that off and he'll evaluate things from there. At that point, I could be re-casted for longer, put into regular footwear with a good arch support, or scheduled for surgery.

While I am not looking forward to 4 weeks of casts in 100 degree heat, I am thankful for answers. I know that this is God's will in my life right now, for whatever reason. I also know we are commanded to be thankful in ALL situations. It is also a great opportunity to show my kids how to handle adversity, how to keep a godly attitude towards the negatives in life, and all that good stuff.

Can you tell I'm giving myself a pep talk? We all need it at times, right? I am just thankful to be living in a century when we have AIR CONDITIONING! And that I have older kids. And there is chocolate and Dr. Pepper in the world.

Needless to say I am praying that the surgery will not be necessary, but that no matter what God has planned for the next several weeks, that He will give me the grace to live through it as I should.

Right now, I have to break the news to the girls that we are starting school a week early...

It's been a while - Conversations with a 4 year old

Last weekend, while we were at my in-laws' house, the white noise maker/alarm clock in the little girls room went off at 5 am both mornings for some unknown reason. It was playing a Spanish station very loudly. When we came home, I thought that the alarm would no longer be set, so I plugged in the clock and put the kids to bed as we got home very late.

5 am the next morning - in which I had hoped to sleep in - I felt a tap on my arm.

Me: Huh? What?

Lauryn: Mama, there's something in our room. And it's WRONG! You need to come here.

When I got upstairs and heard a radio station playing I realized that the stupid alarm clock was still set, though it was playing in English now. Fortunately, the baby slept right through it. And I think Lauryn actually said, "You need to come hear!"

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Friday night we were watching Fellowship of the Ring, and the scene came up where they were sailing by the Argonath - two large statues on either side of a river. The next morning, Lauryn was talking to her sisters at breakfast about the statues.

Lauryn: Yeah, they were really big. And the were stoned.

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Saturday, after watching Return of the King, Lauryn started talking to me about the last battle before the Black Gates.

Lauryn: There needed to be more good guys. The good guys were only in a circle. But there were a lot of bad guys, like 199 of them.

Family

Shortly after we arrived at my in-laws' house Friday afternoon, my parents called. They were at my sister's house and wanted to know if it was ok for them to come over. My sister lives in Ft. Worth, and my parents had come up to celebrate my niece's 1st birthday. But once they heard Vickie's news they wanted to come by since they were only about an hour away.

So for a while I had my husband, my kids, my middle sister, her husband, my niece, Kelly's parents, Kelly's brother and his wife, and their kids under one roof. The only ones from my immediate family missing were my youngest sister, her husband, and their boys.
This from left to right is my sister Jaime, my dad., my SIL Lena is hiding behind my dad, Kelly's brother Tony, my MIL Vickie, my FIL David, Kelly, and my mom.
My MIL Vickie on the left and my mom on the right. They were watching the two toddlers playing.
Here I am with Ashlynn on the left and Callan, my niece, on the right. They were HEAVY!
Ashlynn and Callan enjoyed playing together. OK, well, Ashlynn enjoyed it. I'm not sure Callan knew what to think about this person her size who kept running around her trying to get her to walk and giving her toys. Once, Ashlynn actually reached out a hand trying to get Callan to stand up!
Ashlynn loved my in-law's dog. She spent the whole weekend chasing him around and petting him, and then running away when he licked her. She was also fascinated by his dog food - yuck!

New Glasses

A couple of weeks ago, I took the girls in for their yearly eye exam. Brynna started wearing glasses last year. And I wasn't really surprised when her eyesight had worsened in just one year. Unfortunately, she seems to be taking after me in that regard. Not only was her perscription about half as strong as it now needed to be, she had grown so much that her one year old glasses were too small for her face!

So we ordered new glasses. Blue ones - it's what she wanted. This morning we went to pick them up. She was so excited, like most kids would be at getting to go pick up a new toy or something. But they are really cute.

How Quickly Things Get Worse

In my last post, I wrote that my mother-in-law's cancer had returned to her liver. Thursday morning we received some even worse news, which explains my lack of posting since then.

Not only is her cancer back, but it has infused her liver. In other words, there is no place in her liver where there is NOT any cancer. Which means it is inoperable. Radiation does not work on liver cancer. As a matter of fact, chemo rarely works on liver cancer. What this leaves us with is, basically, not much.

When Vickie was first diagnosed with breast cancer nearly 3 years ago, she asked about clinical trials. They told her that only two kinds of people were sent to clinical trials for cancer drugs - those who can't afford treatment and those they can do nothing else for. As they left the oncologist's office that day, Vickie joked to my FIL, "If an oncologist tells you he's looking for a clinical trial to put you in, you'd better be sizing up the coffin." Thursday, the doctor told her that they were looking into a clinical trial for her.

Right after lunch on Thursday, we told the girls the latest news. Of course, they already knew that her cancer was back, but they didn't understand the gravity of the recurrence. I think they just assumed she'd get treatment like the last time, and be OK. Well, we laid it all out for them. That has been the hardest thing we've ever done as parents to date. They adore Kelly's mom, and sobbed like I have never seen them cry before.

Thursday afternoon we met Kelly's brother's family for dinner to discuss things and just be together as a family. The hostess asked us as she was seating us, "Are you celebrating anything this evening?" We all just looked at each other. Kelly's brother answered, "Not really."

Friday morning we got up and drove to Dallas to spend the weekend with my in-laws. Surprisingly enough, it was an enjoyable weekend. Though there were plenty of tears, especially Friday evening, we laughed together, cooked together, laughed at the kids and the dog. Kelly's brother, Tony, has started a new photography business. He brought all his fancy-shmancy equipment with him, and we spent a good deal of Saturday taking pictures: Granny with all the grandkids, with her sons, with my FIL, with the dog, family pictures, etc.

I think one of the things that helped is that all the grandkids knew what was going on. We didn't hide anything, so that let us be able to talk about everything in front of anyone in the room. There was no "elephant in the living room" and thus no tension because of it. The kids asked questions when they came up, we discussed the treatment possibilities, we spoke about her not making it.

Hopefully we'll find out soon whether Vickie fully qualifies for the clinical trial. We hope that she does because this medicine combination is given in pill form and there are no really awful side-effects, like hair loss and nausea. This would mean that she wouldn't have to decide between quality of life and length of life.

My in-laws are being such amazing examples to everyone throughout this of how God works these things in the lives of believers. They are relying on Him and resting in His sovereignty. This doesn't mean there are no tears or heartache. But they are true examples of a verse they have taken as there own in the last several months.

Though He slay me,
I will hope in Him

Job 13:15a

How Quickly Things Change

Yesterday, we received some very unexpected news - and very unpleasant news. My mother-in-law, who was treated for a very aggressive form of breast cancer two and a half years ago, went in for a routine blood work check up with the oncologist. Her liver numbers were way off. A CT scan confirmed that her cancer is back. A biopsy today will confirm whether this is the same type of cancer as last time; but because of the aggressive nature of the tumors on her liver, we are all sure it is the same.

Needless to say, this is hard news for all of us. She was so very sick with the chemo the last time, I hate to think of her going through that again. But she always had such a great attitude last time, and declares that if she did it before, she can do it again. I am thankful for her strong faith and her example to all of us.

Here's her take on it in her own words:

Emotions of all kinds have ran through my head since this morning. Fear---of the known and the unknown. But also strength that I've done this once and I can do this again. Regardless of what we face, God is always there to carry us in His hands. One of my favorite quotes from my last treatment was from Sir Winston Churchill:

Success is not final, failure is not fatal.
It is the courage to continue that counts.

I pray that God will give me the courage to continue.

To school or not to school...

I've mentioned before that I have always preferred to school year round - until last year. Before last year, I had always taken about 6-7 weeks off from the end of May until after the 4th of July, and then started the new school year. This allowed us to take more weeks off during the year, and kept kids from getting bored while giving me ample time to prepare the school stuff.

Well last year, I had a baby in mid April. We had schooled straight through the year with few breaks so we could be done by then. I loved the almost 4 month break! Of course it gave me ample time to recover from the birth and adjust to a new baby. And it was just so laid back and relaxing. I also got tons done around the house, including painting 4 of the bedrooms.

So this year I decided to do a long summer break as well, though we didn't finish until the end of May. I am now being reminded of one reason I liked to school year round. I'm afraid the kids - at least in the 4-8 age range - are bored! They would never admit to it of course, but I am sure having more than the normal amount of fussing, arguing, picking on each other, etc from all the kids. It's leading to some really bad attitudes - and the kids' attitudes aren't that great either! ;-) I have one child in particular who seems to be making it her mission to get into as much mischief as possible lately. Sigh.

I'm seriously tempted to start school the first of August (two weeks earlier than planned)- even though I myself am still liking the time off. However, I have some medical issues that I am dealing with, and I'd rather be able to attend to those before we start back. Unfortunately, I am still waiting to hear from two different doctors' offices and can't get answers, so who knows when I can get it dealt with?

So I'm in a quandary - to school or not to school? So when are your kids starting back to school, whether you homeschool or not?