Tuesday, October 16, 2007

I don't wanna grow up...

I think nearly all of us can remember thinking as a child, "I can't wait until I am grown up! Then I can ________!" Fill in the blank - do what I want, stay up as late as I want, eat whatever I want, never have anyone tell me what to do, etc. I don't remember the particular thing that I longed to be free of, but I do remember being convinced that life would be so much better then. I know my husband felt the same way - he ran away from home at age 17, he was so convinced that life would be better that way.

There are days now that I long for something of those carefree - comparatively - days of childhood. Oh, yes, there are joys that children cannot understand that I have been privileged to experience: marrying the man I love, growing together over the years into "one flesh," becoming a mother, having deeper friendships than a young girl can experience, oversees travel, etc.

But there are also days when the load seems heavy.

Over the years, I have known what it is like to have marriage problems, family problems, to rush a child to the ER, to be very worried about money, to watch friends hurting and suffering, to be severely depressed, to make difficult decisions. Sometimes it seems unbearable.

No, nothing is really wrong today. Nothing bad has happened. It just seems like over the past 4-5 months, that so much has happened to us and the people in our lives - some small irritations, some big life changing situations - that at times I wish for the days when my only problem was whether I was going to have to take a nap or what cartoon to watch on TV. My friends and family out there who are going through difficult times of one type or another, please know that I am praying for you.

5 comments:

dirksgirl said...

so true. you voiced many of my recent thoughts.

Granny said...

I don't think there's one of us that can't identify to some extent with what you've written here. Wouldn't it be nice if the worst crisis was the forgotten peanut butter? ;-)

Tami said...

Amen to that, Granny!

VLS said...

When David & I were in the thick of chemo and doctor appointments, many times I'd catch myself feeling sorry for Vickie. And then it would be time to go see Dr. Laidley at Medical Center Hospital. Those are always humbling experiences because you see so many people who have burdens they're carrying with them that your's can't even touch. Thanks for the thoughts in this sweet piece of yourself today. Love you!

Candace said...

My thoughts exactly, Tami!